Yeah...

I have my own word now ^^ - Happyishness... Its another one of those adjective-noun transformations.... but it is really the notion of being attempting to be happy while doing something society dictates happy while feeling none yourself. I guess that really all I've been doing here... Art has helped me relax and leak myself you.. but beside that, it hasn't helped at anything else for me... It has not led me to removing the blindfold over my eyes, nor, as far as i can tell, has it removed anyones... All and all.. I think the reason I can't do this anymore is that I'm just sick of it. Everywhere I look, all I can see are people, blinded like me, unable to cope with a lie held over them and see the truth beyond...

For a while now, the only things that have gotten me through the days are the simple little things that seem so trivial for anyone to really care... But there is a source of security in these, like knowing that almost whatever happens, there will be that cherry blossom that I envy so much, just outside.

Yes.. I envy a tree...

It has this almost casual beauty that I have never been able to capture... its something that I've been able to watch day after day in IB Computer Science (Java). It seems to be giving this away, radiating a positive feeling, swaying delicately in the breeze. Its odd really.. after the winter, to see the tree in full bloom again... I've never noticed it before, and now that I need something to cling to more than ever, it blooms, as if it was waiting for me... Oddly, that tree has done so much for me, and It wants nothing in return. I want to thank it somehow, but I don't know how... I've tried to paint it, but I feel like I kill it every time I try. A photograph will not do it justice, and I doubt sculpture can capture her simple grace... She has a name now... She is Sakura (...) (she's the one between the 600 and 700 buildings)

I don't know why I'm trying to rationalize myself with a tree, but...

Really all i've been living for lately are those little things in life that get one through the day...

Things like meeting friends at lunch, and just being with them...

What happens when those no longer occur?

...

Its been over a week since I watched Elfen Lied, but it asks the question: "what makes a person happy?"

But There is more... but I must go...

I've decided to leave deviantART

I really have no regrets...

I can't really explain why... it is just something I have to do...

This is my choice

There are a few things left to accomplish here, then...

Goodbye

Thank You All For Your Support ^^